


And So They Fall

by DragonoftheDark



Series: After the War [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Shakarian - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-03-26 03:01:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3834547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonoftheDark/pseuds/DragonoftheDark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reaper War is over, the cycle finally broken. Commander Shepard has been found alive and for once, Garrus thinks everything might be okay. That is until she becomes a completely different person...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Relief

When the Reapers finally went up in flames, the soldiers cheered. When every news station and extranet site announced that the war was over, the whole galaxy breathed a collective sigh of relief. Survivors were already celebrating, even though it had only been a few short hours since the war was declared won. Garrus could barely find the spirit to keep moving.

He'd been limping through the ruins of London for what felt like an eternity in a desperate search for any sign of Shepard. The medic that had been tending to his leg nearly tied him down to the cot when he tried to leave, but despite all her bluster she let him go. He'd been forced to leave Shepard in the thick of battle and the guilt… He couldn't take it anymore, and the medic knew it. 

Garrus stumbled over a large pile of rubble, hissing through his teeth as it jarred his wounded leg. He knew Shepard was out there, somewhere, and he'd be damned if he sat there doing nothing. Even if she was dead, she meant too much to him, too much to everyone, to just leave her body here to rot with the Reapers. He'd never been one for prayer, but as he called her name for the thousandth time he begged whatever spirits that were listening that he would find anything but cold corpse. 

There was a flicker of movement in the direction of the ruins of the beam, so slight he almost missed it. A slender hand waved limply once before falling back behind the remains of a large pillar. Garrus felt his entire body break out into a run on its own accord. Searing pain shot through him with every step, but he didn't care. He knew what he'd seen on the armor attached to that hand. 

The red stripe of an N7.

He was too afraid to call her name, too afraid to breathe his own sigh of relief just yet. There had been other N7s on the field, it could be anyone. Still, the faint flicker of hope that had been dying within him roared to life. It had nearly consumed him by the time he rounded the pillar and saw-

"Shepard…" he breathed, kneeling down next to her. 

Her eyes fluttered open when he gently pressed his hand to her cheek. Her short, dark hair was plastered to her pale face with dried blood, her armor destroyed beyond salvaging. She was battered and broken, but the brilliant purple eyes that looked up at him were so very alive.

"Hey, big guy," she rasped, the corner of her mouth twitching into her best attempt at a smile. 

Garrus's hand shook as he summoned his omni tool and opened a com link. 

"I need a medical evac on my position," he said into his omni tool, hoping the slight tremor in his voice didn't come through, "Shepard is alive."

A hearty whoop that was distinctly Vega's nearly broke the audio output on the tool. "You two hang tight, I'll be right there," Vega called, the cheering behind him nearly drowning out his voice, before cutting the connection. 

Shepard chuckled once before the humor in her face contorted into pain. "Oh James," she grimaced, still attempting to smile. 

Garrus barely heard her, so caught up in the reality that she was, indeed, alive. He moved a lock of hair out of her face, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the words to say. 

"Hael…" he managed, her name like a prayer, "You're…"

"Alive?" she finished for him, "Of course. I… always follow orders… Even insubordinate ones."

It was an obvious struggle for her to speak, but Garrus could hardly contain the elation that flooded him. He leaned down and gently pressed his forehead to hers.

"Thank you…" he whispered, a noise that was barely audible even to him. 

Hael placed a hand on his arm and he pulled away enough to meet her loving gaze, her eyes communicating what words could not. The small smile on her face fell as her brow creased in concern. 

"The Reapers… Are they…?" 

Garrus's mandibles twitched into what had become known as a smile. Instinctively, his subvocals trilled a tone of victory, though he knew she couldn't hear it, as he stroked her cheek with a gentle thumb. 

"Destroyed. All of them. The Crucible worked," he watched Shepard close her eyes in relief, causing him to dread what he was about to tell her even more, "We… lost contact with Anderson before it fired. I'm sorry…"

Her eyes shot open, but instead of sorrow all he saw confusion. "Anderson? Garrus… That was me. I did that."

It was his turn to look concerned. He ran a hand gently through her hair, looking for more obvious signs of injury than dried blood. "I think you might have hit your head…" he mumbled. 

"I know what I saw," Hael said as defiantly as her current state would allow, her eyes screaming at him, "I was there. With Anderson. I fired the Crucible."

Garrus shook his head slowly. "It isn't possible, Hael. Listen to yourself. You're down here on Earth, not up there on the Citadel," he pointed up to the sky where the ancient structure still loomed for added emphasis, "Even if you were there, you would have never survived the fall."

She closed her eyes again, a weary sigh escaping her lips as she processed what he'd said. "You're right… It does sound crazy," she muttered, more to herself than to him it seemed. 

"No, you've said crazier things," he said, doing his best to sound reassuring, "I just think we should… wait… and talk about this when you haven't recently been blown up."

He took her hand in his and she smiled, though not as fully as she had before. "Okay," she breathed, "Though… You know me."

Garrus couldn't help but chuckle, "I do. It happens to you every other day. But…" he paused, stroking her face ever so softly as his subvocals sung with affection, "We have the time now, as much as we could ever ask for."

The hum of an approaching shuttle drew their attention from each other. Garrus turned gingerly and watched the battered machine land nearby. Air hissed as the door opened and Vega stepped out, walking towards them with worry painted thick behind the huge smile on his face. 

"Sorry I'm late, had to pick up Sparks on the way over. She was out looking for both of you with a damn fever. The girl’s as loco as you, Shep…" he shook his head, turning back to look inside the shuttle. 

Tali leaned up against the entrance to the shuttle, wagging her fingers in a delirious hello. "I couldn't let Garrus have all the fun. Good to see you, Shepard," her voice warmed considerably as her luminescent eyes smiled behind her mask. 

Shepard smiled back as the quarian suddenly ducked into the shuttle when an Alliance medic came through with a gurney. Vega turned back to where Garrus still sat next to Hael, a crooked, but warm, smile on his face.

"Let's get you out of here. You too Scars. You've gotta face that asari medic sooner or later, man."

Garrus rolled his eyes and stood carefully as Vega and the other soldier lifted Shepard onto the gurney. Her face contorted in pain but she otherwise didn't show it as they wheeled her back to the shuttle, Garrus following closely behind. 

He watched attentively as the medic tended to Shepard on their way back to base. Tali had slumped against him at some point, her head resting on his shoulder. The combination of a fever, her own injuries, and a veritable pool of antibiotics in her system made it difficult for her to hold her own head up, let alone stay awake. The quarian's breathing was soft and steady when Shepard reached out and took Garrus’s hand in hers, smiling softly.

It was in that moment that Garrus breathed his own sigh of relief, joining the rest of the galaxy in its respite. They were alive. Battered, broken, and worn, but alive. And for the first time in years, he felt that everything just might be okay.


	2. Visiting Hours

The war had been over for barely two weeks and already the galaxy was trying to regain some of its normalcy. With each of its peoples still united under one banner, the galactic reconstruction efforts were going as smoothly as one could hope. The krogan helped clear rubble and set foundations for new buildings alongside the turians. The quarians worked tirelessly to restore damaged tech with the help of the geth networks they had already fixed. It would take years to set things right, but it was a start.  
   
As soon as Garrus had been released from the medic's clutches, he'd gone to work fixing the tech damaged in the Crucible’s blast. His leg, while it was healing well, prevented him from doing much manual labor so he had been slated for other work in the meantime. When he'd told the officers in charge of restoration assignments that he once out-calibrated a Geth infiltrator in a pissing match, they'd readily assigned him to fixing any machine he could get his hands on.   
   
He'd found himself working on a variety of things in the following days. Everything from shuttles to Geth mobile units had crossed his proverbial desk. The job was interesting enough, but even the most dedicated minds would start to wander after a time.  
   
Shepard came to his mind more times than not, as she was prone to do. They'd placed her in what passed for ICU immediately after their arrival and prevented Garrus from seeing her until she was declared "stable." Which, apparently, took over a day. Time he had spent confined to his own cot, listening to an asari lecture him about reopening wounds and the shortage of medigel while Tali slept her fever off in the cot next to his. It was better once Tali woke up and he had someone to talk to, but the wait was agonizing no matter what.   
   
Eventually, the doctors had let him in to see Shepard, though they only did so during visiting hours. At first it had been fine, he'd spent the initial couple of days by Shepard's side, conversing with her between visitors or watching her sleep. It only became complicated when he'd been deemed fit to work. Visiting hours overlapped with his working hours almost exactly and no amount of persuasion or bribery, as it was at one point, could convince the nurse in charge to let him stay. Not that he wasn't still trying.   
   
Hael had insisted that he not piss off the hospital staff too much, so he'd started seeing her on lunch breaks or working through them all together and leaving his shifts early.   
   
It was one of those days.  
   
Garrus had worked longer than he had planned, somehow losing track of time despite frequently checking it on his omni-tool. Even though the hospital wasn't far from where he was stationed, his limp still slowed him down. It was near the end of visiting hours when he finally burst through the doors, a package under one arm. He was rushing towards Shepard's room when something grabbed him.  
   
"Hold it, Vakarian. Visiting hours are over."  
   
He spun around and glared at the asari nurse, the one with the bad attitude he had the misfortune to see every day. She matched his glare, never releasing her vice-like grip on his arm.   
   
"I still have ten minutes," he growled, shoving her hand off.   
   
"Seven," she barked.  
   
Garrus sighed in frustration. "Seven, fine. That's seven minutes of visiting hours that are still open," he narrowed his eyes, voice dropping low as he leaned in, "We both know you don't have the authority to kick me out for seven. More. Minutes."  
   
The asari didn't flinch under his gaze. "I do if you cause a disruption."  
   
"I just walked in; you're the one being disruptive. All I want to do is see my girlfriend."  
   
She glared back at him once more, throwing all of her weight to one leg and crossing her arms. "I still need to see the contents of that package, Vakarian. Clinic rules."  
   
Garrus let out an exasperated huff but otherwise complied. He lifted the lid on the narrow box, snapping it shut when the nurse had had plenty of time to see the lone object inside. She waved him off, shouting the words "six minutes, Vakarian" as he all but ran down the hall.  
   
Voices filtered through the door to Shepard's room and he knocked before entering. Shepard beamed at him as he walked in. Tali looked up from where her face had been pressed into the mattress and waved as she tried to compose herself. She failed, and fell into another fit of giggles shortly after Garrus sat down in a nearby chair.   
   
"What happened then?" she managed, hiding her mouth piece behind her hands.  
   
"He saluted and marched straight through the mess hall as if he still had clothes on," Hael laughed, gesturing towards the door.  
   
Tali nearly fell out of her chair, Garrus watching in confusion. Eventually the quarian composed herself enough to stand.   
   
"I should get back to the Normandy," she said, laughter still in her voice, "I'll see you later Shepard. You too, Garrus."  
   
She waved at them as she walked out of the room, flicking on her omni-tool. Garrus stared after her for a moment before turning back to Hael.   
   
She'd improved a great deal over the last couple weeks. The color was back in her face and the worst of her wounds were nearly healed, though she still looked drawn and weary. Neither of them could say they were surprised at her quick recovery. The cybernetics Cerberus used to rebuild her caused her to heal faster than normal with minimal scarring. Why she was still here was anyone's guess.  
   
"You're late," she said, though there was no hostility in her voice.  
   
"I know. I'm sorry," he sighed.  
   
"It's okay. Tali was here for a while and Joker stopped by this morning so I wasn't bored. I missed you though," Hael smiled sweetly at him.  
   
Garrus flicked a mandible in a grin. "I missed you too. Do you know when they're letting you out of here?"  
   
She let out a sound of disgust, lifting her arms in a shrug before dropping them loudly back down at her sides. "Hell if I know. I feel fine but it's always 'one more test.' I'm starting to think I'm their guinea pig…"  
   
"I… Don't really know what a guinea pig is."  
   
"It's like a hamster. Kind of. Not really."  
   
"Then why is it called a pig?"  
   
"Humans have been asking that question for centuries, Garrus. I don't think anyone knows anymore," Hael laughed as Garrus stared at the box on his lap, perplexed, "Either way, they don't seem to want to release me."  
   
He looked up at her sudden change in tone. She stared blankly at the wall across from her, biting the inside of her cheek. A sort of depression seemed to have washed over her in the span of seconds.   
   
"I could threaten the doctor in charge," he offered, clearly joking though they both knew he'd actually do it.   
   
She snorted once. "You tried to bribe the nurses one time, I don't think death threats will go over well," she gave him a small smile, though there was sadness in her eyes.   
   
"I wasn't talking about death threats, but… Black mail might work," that elicited a short laugh out of her, "Still, I have something that might make you feel better until I can break you out of here."  
   
Hael raised her dark eyebrows as he handed her the narrow box he'd brought in. She took it, eyeing it skeptically as she tested its light weight.  
   
"What is it?" she asked, hand poised on the lid.  
   
Garrus rolled his eyes. "Just open the box."  
   
She cocked an eyebrow at him before lifting the lid painstakingly slow just to spite him. Inside was a single red rose just beginning to bloom, its velvety petals somehow still in perfect condition despite the war that had ravaged the planet. Hael didn't move, didn't say anything, and Garrus was starting to feel like he'd done something wrong. Even turian couples gave each other flowers and every human romance vid he'd ever watched always had roses. Maybe it was a joke, or she didn't like it or he'd insulted her mother or-  
   
"Garrus… How did you find this?" she looked up at him astonished.  
   
"Oh-Uh... I found it," he stammered, "In a shop near here. I don't know how it survived but… It reminded me of you."  
   
Nervously, he wrung his hands as she stared at the rose. The silence stretched between them and he became more convinced he had   
   
He shook his head. "Never mind, it was-"  
   
"I love it," Hael whispered, pulling his gaze back to where she sat, unmoving, "Thank you."  
   
"You do?" Garrus caught himself trilling a high note of excitement.  
   
The door swept open, revealing the asari nurse. She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway, glowering at him.  
   
"Of course she does, Vakarian. Time's up," she thrust her thumb back towards the hall.  
   
Hael looked down at her lap, hiding her face behind her short hair. Her fingers absently traced patterns in between the thorns on the stem of the rose.  
   
"You should go," she muttered, "Before they kick you out for good."  
   
Garrus leaned forward and gently cupped her face with one hand, turning her towards him. Her eyes were sad, more so than he could remember them being. He relaxed his own and tried his best at a reassuring smile, doing what he could to express himself without subharmonics. They trilled sweet tones regardless.  
   
"I'll be back tomorrow. Much earlier this time, I promise," he hummed, stroking her cheek with his thumb.  
   
She gave him a small smile and reached up to grab his hand. "I'm holding you to that, you know."  
   
"Yeah, I know," he whispered, placing his forehead to hers.   
   
The nurse cleared her throat obnoxiously and Garrus pulled away, rolling his eyes. Hael chuckled to herself as he stood.  
   
"I'll see you tomorrow, Garrus," she gave him a half hearted wave despite the amusement in her voice.  
   
"Definitely," he smiled back at her before the nurse ushered him out of the room.  
   
The door snapped shut behind him and he looked at it longingly before the asari practically shoved him forward. He hated leaving Hael alone, especially when she was so obviously upset, and he'd stay all night if he could. Sadly, such privileges were reserved for family members or spouses, of which he was neither though the closest she had.   
   
He shook his head, walking slowly towards the entrance of the hospital mostly to irritate the already irate nurse. Hael was a strong woman and she would be fine, though that didn't help the sick fluttering in his gut. He'd see her soon enough and the doctors had to release her eventually.   
   
He just hoped that day would come sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies and thank you for reading <3
> 
> There isn't a lot going on just yet and I apologize if it seems slow. There's just a scene to set before I rip it all apart ;) So have some fluff in the meantime???


	3. Homecoming

Garrus had been working on the same shuttle for hours. Like most everything, it had seen its share of the war but the small craft had somehow been declared salvageable. He supposed it was, but the amount of effort he and Kaidan were putting into it didn't seem worth it. Their biggest achievement so far was getting the lights to come on, but they had only stayed on for three seconds. One time.

He was currently fussing with a control panel inside the cockpit while Kaidan did something clever underneath with a wrench. Yet another wire had just shorted out when his omni-tool pinged an incoming message. With a huff, he untangled himself from the various other wires and opened the message. It was from Shepard:

_G,_

_The docs told me I'm free to go after 3 today, GST. Bring me a fresh change of clothes?_

_-H_

He blinked once before hopping out of the craft all too eagerly. There was a slight grunt from Kaidan as the craft rocked backwards and his wrench clanged against the underbelly. He slid out from underneath, squinting against the light of the sun, and watched as Garrus wiped his hands clean with a damp towel.

"What's the rush?" he asked, standing up and stretching.

"It's Shepard. She's getting released today," Garrus beamed, not even bothering to hide his excitement, "Just got the message."

"That's good news," Kaidan rolled his head back and forth, "What time?"

"Three, Galactic Standard."

"Garrus, it's barely 1:30."

The turian stared at him. He hadn't actually considered what time it currently was. "She asked me to bring clothes," he explained uncertainly.

Kaidan laughed before clapping him on the shoulder. "It's fine. Go get her, I'll cover for you. If the supervisor comes by, I'll tell him you had to leave because of your leg."

"It was bothering me and I went to the Normandy to rest," Garrus said pointedly, an amused look on his face.

"Before heading to the hospital to see Shepard," Kaidan grinned, crossing his arms, "I got it, same story as always. Go."

"I owe you one," Garrus called behind him as he rushed off. Kaidan gave him a dismissive wave as he knelt down and slid back under the shuttle.

It was a decent walk back to the ship from where Garrus and Kaidan had been working. The Normandy had been docked for necessary repairs after she had taken a few bad hits in the last battle. It wasn't nearly enough damage to make it impossible to reside inside, however, and much of the crew continued to take up residence there. The decision was both one of necessity and desire, as most of London had been destroyed in the Reapers' final assault and shelter was in short supply.

The damage was all too apparent as Garrus picked his way through the rubble that still littered the streets. What was once a skyline of tall buildings and proud monuments was now a barren expanse of grey skies and uninhabited wasteland. Bodies of all races were pulled from the wreckage and carried away, some to be sent home to surviving relatives, others to be burned on great pyres or buried in mass graves with the rest of the unclaimed dead. It almost felt wrong to still be alive when so many had perished. What made the living worthy of their lives?

He banished the thought before it had any more time to fester. There was no sense in feeling guilty for surviving; it only shamed the spirits of the dead. It was best to honor their sacrifice and he would be lying if he said he wasn't glad he'd been so lucky. Shepard was alive, as were his friends on the Normandy. He hadn't been completely without loss, his mother was killed on Sur'Kesh, but even though his heart still ached, he was glad his father and sister were still alive. He'd always tried to take his wins where he could, even if they were bittersweet.

He made a mental note to contact Solana as he walked up the ramp to the Normandy's cargo bay. She was going to be pissed at him for not contacting her beyond a quick "still alive" after the war was declared over, but she would be worse than a raging krogan if he waited too much longer.

The ship was eerily quiet with most of its crew helping the restoration effort, though a hand full of technicians were on board to make repairs. It wasn’t completely devoid of its normal crew however, as Joker could usually be found in the cockpit, whining about what they were doing to his ship and Tali was sequestered away in the AI core. Like the Geth, EDI had been a victim of the Crucible’s blast. After some initial digging, Tali had determined that she could retrieve EDI’s data just like the other quarians had with the Geth network. She’d been almost exclusively in the AI core ever since.

The elevator doors slid open at the top floor, leaving him face to face with the red interface on Shepard's cabin door. Without having to think, he punched in the key code she had given him months ago. The door parted in welcome.

Her room was mostly untouched, though the sky light had been shattered in the fighting. Garrus had cleaned up and sealed it off with a tarp to ward off the London weather during his first night back from the med clinic. It had been strange sleeping there without Hael, it felt almost as if he was trespassing in a room that had become his as much as it was hers. Sleeping alone had become more bearable as the nights went on, but it still didn't feel right. He supposed that was a good thing.

As a career soldier, Hael didn't have many belongings so it didn't take him long to find a suitable change of clothes for her. He pulled a duffle bag out from under the bed and carefully packed everything inside before sitting down on the couch, gingerly resting his leg on the table. Ironically, it had started to bother him on his walk over, lending plenty of credence to the excuse he had worked out with Kaidan. He was in no real hurry to get to the med clinic though. The clock had only just struck two and the nurse in charge was likely to tell him he couldn't see Hael just yet. He took the opportunity to reply to her message:

_H,_

_I got what you asked for. Need anything else?_

_Love, G._

He rested his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes and doing his best to not focus on the steady throbbing. Fortunately it didn't take Shepard long to reply:

_G,_

_I shouldn't need anything as long as you didn't forget a bra this time. Don't think you're getting out that easy, big guy._

_More love, H._

A flush rose in his neck involuntarily. Flirting was… Good and she was obviously in a better mood than she had been in the past week. His mandibles twitched as he ran through a mental checklist of what he had packed, comparing it to what he'd seen her wear in various stages of undress. Human females had too much clothing.

_H,_

_That was one time and you'd be lying if you said it didn't make things more interesting. Don't worry, I remembered._

_See you soon, G._

He tried to not think about that particular instance as he grabbed the duffle bag and headed back towards the elevator. It had been the furthest thing from an unpleasant experience, but he figured it was best to not think about a night of hot sex when you're leaving to pick your girlfriend up from the hospital.

The elevator doors had just closed behind him when he heard the all too familiar sound of a vid call coming from his omni-tool. From Joker, of all people.

"Hiii, honey, are you home? Because I just picked up a heat signature in Shepard's room. Yeahhh…" Joker said, looking mildly suspicious.

"Yeah, Joker, that was me," he replied, rolling his head.

"Okay good. I don't want any of those 'techs' stealing our fearless leader's stuff. Or messing around with my ship but..." he leaned back in his chair and sighed, "Nothing I can do about that. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Shepard's being released today. She asked me to grab a few things," Garrus said as the elevator came to a halt in the cargo bay.

"Oh sweet. You're planning a party right?"

Garrus stopped walking long enough to stare at Joker's image on the screen. "Why would I plan a party?"

It was Joker's turn to stare. "You're kidding me right? Savior of the galaxy comes home and you're _not_ throwing a party? And here I was starting to think you were cool. That's okay, I got you covered."

The pilot started typing erratically on another screen. "Just don't go crazy, Joker. Keep it small," Garrus sighed.

"Yeah, yeah. I leave the big parties to Shepard. People blame you less for their hangovers when you’re a hero," he shook his head, "I'll catch you later."

The screen closed as Joker signed off. Garrus wasn't sure if a party was the best idea, but then again Shepard's shore leave party had been a good decision. Perhaps it would be best for all of them celebrate their survival rather than to sit around and mourn all day. He'd never been the best judge when it came to social gatherings, and it was a good thing Joker was in charge then, as odd as that was to think.

Garrus shrugged the duffle bag into a better position before continuing on to the clinic. Hopefully the pilot didn't abuse his new found powers as party planner.

The clinic was busier than usual, though why he couldn't say. The recent surge of activity did not apply to his favorite nurse it seemed, as she was working casually behind the front desk. She caught his eye when he walked in and shook her head slowly, giving him a glare that could freeze the blood in anyone's veins. Garrus shrugged nonchalantly and took a seat in the lobby where she could see him and he could see the hallway to Shepard's room. The nurse rolled her eyes but returned to her work.

He hadn't been waiting long when a stern faced woman walked out of the hallway. She was Alliance, if the uniform was any indication, which likely meant she had spoken with Shepard as he didn't recall seeing any other human soldiers in the adjoining rooms. There was something clinical about her, as if she belonged more in the white suits of the doctors than in Alliance blues. Garrus watched her intently as she walked towards the nurse's desk and handed her a data pad. The two exchanged a few words before the human woman disappeared down a corridor on the other side of the room.

The nurse skimmed through the data pad before setting it down next to her and returning to work. She seemed to be deliberately ignoring him, which wasn't a surprise, but he continued to wait patiently until the clock on the wall struck three. It was then that he hefted the duffle bag over his shoulder and approached her.

"Excuse me, but I'm here to pick up Hael Shepard," he said in his most charming voice, "Is she-"

"I know why you're here, Vakarian," the nurse snapped, not looking up from her work, "Check your bag with the guard and be on your way."

"Much appreciated," he flared his mandibles in a smile and walked away.

He was certain he heard her grumble something along the lines of "good riddance" but he couldn't bring himself to care. Hopefully this was the last time he would ever have to deal with her, provided Shepard could keep herself out of trouble long enough.

The salarian in charge of checking his bag was brutally efficient and Garrus was at the door to Shepard's room before long. He knocked before entering, as always.

Hael sat on the edge of her bed, bouncing her heel against the frame and staring blankly at the wall across from her. She looked up when he walked in and smiled broadly, jumping to her feet and wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her into a brief hug before she released him.

"I'm so glad to see you," she grinned as he handed her the duffle bag, "And this. But mostly you."

Garrus chuckled, watching her eagerly unzip the bag. "The fact that I had what you needed doesn't have anything to do with it?"

"It might," she winked at him as she pulled out a pair of pants, "Though I won't lie, you win extra points for bringing my favorite pants."

"Good to know," he smiled with a flick of a mandible.

He leaned against the wall and watched her as she dressed, marveling at how smooth her pale skin was when just a few days ago it had been burned and mutilated. She still bore a few faint bruises and scabs from the worst of her wounds but they would likely be healed by tomorrow morning. As much as he hesitated to think about her death, the cybernetics had proven useful. She might not have survived that last battle without them.

"Enjoying the show?"

Garrus blinked, violently pulled from his musings. Hael looked at him with a lopsided grin and a raised eyebrow before pulling her tank-top down with tantalizing slowness.

"Always," he murmured, watching her intently.

Hael grabbed the duffle bag and smacked him on the arm as she walked out of the door. "Wait until later. It gets better," she gave him a sly grin and shook her hips more than usual when she walked away.

"Looking forward to it," he said watched her walk for a moment, transfixed, before following suit.

They went straight to the front desk, where Hael handled her business in a low voice with the asari nurse. Garrus stood a respectable distance away, largely because of the icy glare the nurse had given him when he’d made to stand by Shepard. It didn't stop him from trying to eavesdrop, though he couldn't make out more than 'doctor' and a few vague, date-like numbers through the noise of the crowd.

Hael joined him shortly, her smile looking a little less cheerful than it had just moments before. The change was so slight that if he hadn't known her better he likely wouldn't have picked up on it.

"Everything okay?" he asked once they had walked outside.

"Yeah, everything's fine," she replied, breathing in the cool air, "That's just going to be one hell of a medical bill."

"I'm sure the Alliance has it covered," Garrus said reassuringly, though his subharmonics whined quite notes of concern.

"I don't think my insurance covers Reaper attacks."

"Sounds like you need better insurance."

Hael laughed, "Says Palaven's 'expert Reaper advisor.' Does your policy cover Reaper attacks?"

"Of course. Comes with the territory," he smiled slyly at her.

"Well, maybe I do need better insurance."

Garrus chuckled and the two of them fell into a companionable silence as they walked back to the Normandy. It didn't stay quiet for long, however. As he watched her while they walked back, absorbing the sight of her upright and walking, basking in the reality that it was by his side and more than just a dream, he remembered something, unbidden and out of place as it was.

"So I have to ask," he ventured, pulling Hael's attention back to him, "I saw an Alliance officer coming out of your hallway at the clinic. Was she there to see you?"

"What? Oh, her. Yeah…" she scratched the side of her head, "She's some sort of… Cybernetics expert. The doctors called her in to make sure everything was working properly."

She wouldn't look at him while she spoke, which struck him as odd though to be fair there was a great deal of rubble to look out for. He dismissed it for the time being.

"And is it?"

"Is what?" she blinked at him, eyes wide.

"Everything working properly?" he raised a brow plate, mimicking Hael's own expression of skepticism.

"Right. For the most part, I think. She wants to meet with me again soon."

Garrus hummed briefly in understanding as the Normandy came into clear view. "I see. Well, I wouldn't worry about it right now. You have to survive Joker's idea of a part first."

"Joker's throwing a party…" she said each word slowly, as if she were speaking a new language, "Why would he do that?"

"Hell if I know," he shrugged, "He thought it was strange that I _wasn't_ planning one. Said you were coming home and made it sound like that was the only logical thing to do."

Hael snorted, a half smile on her lips. "He would."

"We could always sneak away," he suggested, a sly note in his voice.

"I think they'd notice we were gone, Garrus," she laughed.

"And then after a few bad jokes, they'd go right back to what they were doing."

"You reeeally want to have that party don't you?"

"The idea is starting to grow on me."

Hael rolled her eyes and laughed as they walked up the ramp to the ship's cargo bay. "The party or the aftermath?"

"It's a bit of both. Mostly what happens after."

She shook her head this time, still grinning as she walked into the elevator. Garrus followed and looked at her expectantly when she keyed the top floor. His expression didn't go unnoticed.

"Don't get any ideas yet. I just want to take a proper shower first," she stated, matching his look with one that was amused despite its apparent lack of amusement.

"Not going to invite me?"

"Nope," she tried to hide her grin, "It's me time. You can go calibrate the main gun."

"Ooh. Harsh," Garrus cringed in mock offense.

"…Not what I meant."

"Your choice of words suggests otherwise," he grinned at her as she stepped out of the elevator.

She rolled her eyes again, but made no attempts at hiding her smile this time. "I just need a few minutes to collect myself, that's all."

"I know. Take your time," he said reassuringly, "I'll be down on the crew deck if you need me. Somebody has to check on Tali once in a while."

"You're doing the galaxy a great service," Hael said with a salute.

Garrus chuckled once as she turned expertly on her heel and punched in the door code. His eyes followed her inside before he pushed the button for the third level and leaned against the wall with a contented sigh.

It was good to have her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading <33 I know it's still a little slow but there's a lot of important stuff in this chapter so please continue to bear with me!
> 
> This chapter was difficult for me to write and it still just sounds really rough (probably because it's really information heavy????). I'm more of an artist than a writer, but I'm practicing and working at becoming more of a literary writer than an academic one.


	4. Dreams

There was no end to the miracles a warm shower could perform. Especially when it was your own shower, in your own bathroom, and you could enjoy it without some salarian doctor standing nearby. Hael felt rejuvenated and free, as if her worries had been washed away.In fact, she actually felt up to that party Joker was planning.

It wasn't that she didn't want to have a few drinks with her friends and the crew, she did. Just… Not tonight. She'd been hoping for a quiet evening before they trashed the crew deck. But there would be plenty of quiet evenings in the future. Hopefully.

Hael took the elevator down to the third floor with a mind to interrupt Garrus's calibrations, but bickering in the kitchen caught her attention first.

"I said an egg not-Shouldn’t you know what eggs look like? Aren't you part bird or something?" Joker's exasperated voice rang out.

"Turians aren't birds and we don't lay eggs. We-" a very flustered Garrus started to reply.

Joker rapidly spluttered out a string of shushing noises. "I don't need a biology lesson, I need an egg."

Hael walked into view in time to see Garrus shoot Joker a look that could kill before opening the fridge. Either the pilot didn't see it or expertly ignored it, either one of which was possible, as he leaned forward to read something off of a data pad.

"Hang on, make that three eggs. Hold the biology," he said, eliciting a series of incoherent, but likely profane, grumbles from Garrus.

The turian produced three white eggs from the fridge and handed them to Joker with a glare as Hael took a seat on a nearby stool.

"What are you guys up to?" she asked, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

"Just giving Garrus here a cooking lesson," Joker grinned, cracking the eggs into a large mixing bowl.

"Actually, I'm here to make sure he doesn't break an arm stirring the batter," Garrus said, crossing his arms and leaning against the back counter, "He was struggling with the flour earlier, it's a good thing I showed up when I did."

Joker glared at him, cracking the final egg with an unnecessary amount of force. "You're just mad you can't eat cake."

"It would probably kill me even if I could eat it," his mandibles flared slightly and Hael could tell he was trying to hold back a grin.

"Oh come on. That's just rude," Joker turned to her, a desperate look on his face, "Back me up here, Shepard."

Hael raised her hands defensively. "Don't drag me into this, Joker. You're on your own."

"I win," Garrus grinned, a smug look on his face.

"I hate you both… Teaming up on me. That's so unfair," Joker grumbled, stabbing a spoon into the bowl.

Hael laughed. "Nobody's teaming up on you."

"Wait... We’re not?" Garrus raised a brow plate.

"No, you're on your own too."

"HA!" it was Joker's turn to look smug.

Garrus hummed quietly to himself, matching the look on Joker's face as best he could. "That's okay, even with Shepard on your side it still wouldn't be a fair fight."

Hael dropped her hand to the counter, narrowing her eyes at him. "Are you saying you could beat me in a fight, Vakarian?"

"Oh, sure. Easy."

"I wanna see it!" Joker declared, "You two against each other in the fight of the century. I'll start taking bets."

"Don't bother. It'll be over before it starts," Hael waved her hand dismissively.

"Now hold on-" Garrus uncrossed his arms and stepped forward, launching into an elaborate explanation about why he would win.

The two of them debated who would actually win and why as they continued to set up for the party. Joker occasionally added his own thoughts to their discussion, further spurring it on until their conversation naturally diverted into a debate on which sniper rifle model was best. It wasn't until James came up from the docking bay that the three of them remembered what they were actually doing.

Hael was explaining, in detail, why the Widow was better than the Incisor when James came around the corner, looking around at the spread of food, alcohol, and buckets of ice in mild confusion.

"Uh, what's going on here? You throwing a party, Lola?"

She turned around at the sound of his voice, but Joker answered before she could. "Actually that's me. I'm throwing the party."

"Oh sweet," James grinned, grabbing a beer out of the ice bucket on the table, "Just tell me you're going to have a beer pong table."

From seemingly nowhere, Joker produced a stack of red cups and a ping pong ball, grinning wickedly. James let out a loud whoop as he popped the cap off of his beer.

"The turian is confused here," Garrus said, looking between the three of them, "What's beer pong?"

"Oh man. _You_ are going to love it," James said from behind the lip of his bottle.

"It involves a lot of aiming and hitting small targets. Like one of our missions, but with more alcohol,” Hael explained.

"And a plastic ball instead of bullets," Joker added.

Garrus contemplated the counter for a moment, mandibles twitching. "Sounds like my kind of game."

"Yeah, well, don't get too cocky. James is supposed to be the best," Joker rolled his eyes, landing them on James who shrugged nonchalantly.

"You're just jealous that this-," James curled his arms, flexing his muscles, "-is for more than the show."

"You know, you're right. They are! Hey, why don't you put them to work carrying all of that down to the shuttle bay," the pilot said with a mocking smile, gesturing to the ice buckets and booze.

James stared him down for a second before dramatically setting down his beer and lifting the two buckets off of the table with ease. He proudly carried them off to the elevator, making a remark about how he would carry more if he had more arms. Hael laughed quietly to herself before standing. She grabbed a few plates of food before trotting after him, figuring she might as well make herself useful.

********************

Somehow, Joker had managed to get his hands on a holo table for billiards, had the card table moved down from deck three, and set up an entire party in the shuttle bay within a couple short hours. Hael had originally questioned his decision to have the party in the Normandy's lower level, but considering he had invited the entire crew its space proved it to be a better choice than the crew deck. Especially when a few unfamiliar faces started to show up as the night went on.

Garrus was grumbling something about 'keeping it small' when Hael dragged him over to where James was setting up cups for a few rounds of beer pong. She was explaining the rules to him when the elevator doors opened and Tali stepped out with-

"EDI!" Joker called from his seat at the card table, a mixture of excitement and surprise tinged with bittersweet relief on his face.

"Hello Jeff," she said pleasantly, a smile on her lips as Joker hobbled over quickly as he could.

The Normandy's crew cheered fervently as Joker threw his arms around EDI's metal shoulders. Tali was trying to explain something to him when some of the crew, and a couple of the uninvited guests, thrust a red cup into her hands and surrounded her. With a shriek, she was in the air and being paraded around the cargo bay on the shoulders of a couple privates. She shouted at Shepard to help her, a laugh in her voice, but Hael just shook her head, grinning as she told the quarian that rescuing her was a suicide mission. Tali gave her a hand gesture that was probably offensive as the privates carried her away.

She eventually escaped from the crew's clutches and joined Hael over by the beer pong table. Between rounds she explained that most of what made EDI EDI had been salvaged but there were still gaps in her programming. It was likely that she wouldn't remember certain encounters and that she might act differently than they're used too until Tali had more time to recover the data. Hael pulled her into a quick hug and thanked her for what she did just as James hollered at her to get her ass back to the game.

She gave James a run for his money and Garrus proved to be pretty good even after a few drinks. It was late in the night when James called it quits and stumbled over to the poker table, leaving Hael and Garrus to themselves. Almost simultaneously, they glanced at each other before she smirked and sauntered off to the elevator, Garrus hot on her heals. A couple of rowdy cheers rang out as she hit the button for the first floor. Even when she wasn't happily drunk she didn't care. They'd saved the damn galaxy, for good this time.

If anyone deserved to be lost in each other for an evening, it was them, and she planned to make the most of it.

********************

_It was always the same. The same trees, the same inky shadows, the same haunting whispers._

_"You failed us, Shepard."_

_"We trusted you, Shepard."_

_"Why did you let this happen, Shepard?"_

_Hael spun around, but there were only more shadows, more accusations in soft voices. She squeezed her eyes shut, forced her palms against her ears, desperate to drown out the voices coming from inside her own head._

_She tried to run, but the shadows kept closing in on her. Her feet wouldn’t move. She was paralyzed and the shadows kept reaching for her; fingers of smoke wrapping around her arms, her legs, her neck._

_She tried to scream but her voice wouldn't come. It stuck in her throat, choked off by black wisps slithering down her gullet. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, she had to fight it but her body wouldn't move. There were only the whispers, the shadows, the accusations, consuming her._

********************

Hael sat up, struggling to breathe. The sheets clung to her sweat-drenched body as she frantically looked about, desperate to be freed from her nightmare. Instead of trees and black shadows, she saw only her room on the Normandy. Instead of haunting whispers, she heard the bubbling of her fish tank and slow, steady breaths. Garrus was fast alseep next to her, lying on his side with one arm dangling over the edge of the bed.

Waking him up was tempting, but she tossed aside the notion. She wasn't a child running to her parents after a bad dream. She could handle this. Still, she wrapped herself around him, drawing comfort from the unusual warmth of his body. He stirred but stayed asleep as Hael nestled her head against his back and closed her eyes.

She could still see the shadows reaching for her; hear their voices whispering unintelligibly in her mind. Her arms tightened involuntarily around him and he moved, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Everything okay?" he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

"Yeah," the lie slipped out before she could stop it, "Everything's fine."

He shuffled under her arm, murmuring something unintelligible before drifting off to sleep again. Hael buried her head into his back, his rough plating rasping against her skin. She didn't know why she lied to him; he knew about her nightmares. Hell, he had them too. If anyone would understand why they kept plaguing her, it would be Garrus.

_He would understand_ , she told herself. _You can tell him_.

But she couldn't. She'd had a chance earlier that day, when he'd asked about the Alliance officer. She'd lied to him then too. The truth stuck in her throat, choking her like the shadows in her nightmares until only a lie came out.

No, she couldn't tell him. And she hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, this chapter was incredibly hard to write and I'm sorry it took nearly a month to put out. Hopefully the next ones don't take as long, though I've been working on drawings to sell which is part of the reason this took so long. (I have some for sale on redbubble here: http://www.redbubble.com/people/dragonofthedark?ref=account-nav-dropdown)
> 
> Also, apologies for the lack of smut. You do not want me writing smut. It doesn't go over well when I do it. Maybe someday I'll be able to pull it off.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all and thank you for reading! You're wonderful and I hope you enjoyed it <3
> 
> For anyone that may have stumbled upon it on deviantART, this is a written reboot of my webcomic of the same title. I'm really fond of the story, but life got in the way/I abandoned my account due to art theft so I never got around to finishing. I'm determined to finish this time around because there's a really exciting sequel I can't wait to get too!
> 
> I'll update as often as work and school will allow <3


End file.
